Susan George plays Mary Ann Landers, who is captured by an evil Ninja assassin and used as bait to lure the good Ninja into a final battle. First she goes out armed with a shotgun (??) to find out why the guards on property have gone silent and is captured by the ninja. we next see her OTM gagged with black cloth her hands tied high above to two trees. Later, she's brought to a combat arena (used for local kickboxing events) her hands tied behind her, cleave gagged with the same cloth. The evil ninja unties her so she can leave the ninjas to their duel.
Things we learned by watching this movie
1. Any object flying through the air makes cool synthesizer noises.
2. Evil Ninjas giggle hysterically when capturing you.
3. British servants will have the time to utter 'But suh,' even after being shot in the heart.
4. A man can carry over a dozen swords of various sizes on his person and look like he's only carrying two.
5. Nobody ever just shoots a Ninja first, they have to make some stupid wisecrack about his costume, so he can whip out a weapon and kill them.
6. Chunky guys with bad Brady perms make good Ninjas.
7. Nobody notices a man in an all white Ninja suit until he stabs someone.
8. There's no such thing as 'arterial spray'.
9. Arrows always hit straight, even when passing through bone and cartilage.
10. An expert martial arts killer can still be thrown off by a sudden elbow in the ribs delivered by a tiny British lady.
11. Ninjas crap out small explosive flares on cue.
12. When killed by a Ninja you've been systematically pissing off, shrug your shoulders and act surprised.
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